'So, what do you think?' miss holly asks.
'Oh dear. That's not Saskia. We don't have her, she's not there'
This was a head on turning point. It was such a disappointment... i was in a bit of a theatrical panic at that point. i was lost back in the abyss. i have a need to latch on to the known and i want to know the known as soon as possible so then i can begin to head everything towards the package of the performance. then its controlled and i can't fuck it up. its fear pretty much, plain and simple. Watching the footage, then reading through some writing exercises, then looking through some pictures, it came clearly and distilled what Saskia isn't...
I know what she's not.
She's not a sad soul
She's not a boring party
She's not woe is me, she is not angst or brown or beige.
She's not your average aussie
She's not lonely (but she has some love she is missing out on)
She's not someone you can see her pain on, she has a fantastic mask and that is what will make getting underneath it through all the other sensory tools available will be an interesting experience in any way for the viewers. If there's nothing to find, what is the fun in snooping?
Holly has been running some question and answer sessions with me as Saskia. They are on the couch therapy style with a blindfold. These have been a rich source of information, emotion and after our time spent finding the ins and outs of her aesthetic, trying walks, shoes and interactions on for size, these quiet sessions have worked well with coming up with some answers and a lot of questions. We've recorded these and as soon as I find a way to upload those files, then that I will.

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