August 29

Day Four

Borders:

Mags selected for her:  Vogue Italia / Frankie / Russh / Nylon / Yen

Yen was the fav

Asked for a regular latte.  Said Emma not Saskia... so instinctual when someone asks what your name is, good to keep practicing with that.  Second time, when asking for water, the confident Saskia was out.

For me, the physicality of Saskia is a really important key in to Saskia

People do respond differently to her, they watch her, she watches them.  Not unfriendly though, just curious.

She lost herself in the mag, then back out into the people, then bam, back in to the mags again. In , out , in , out.  Holly noted that she's animated in her response to the magazines, but in the way of someone who spend time alone and doesn't need to smile to be smiled at.  She smiles for herself.

Playing with wires behind her, tapping leg, movement in her body, figeting.  Holly said that is seems like someone, at some point, has told her she can never just sit on a chair.

  From Holly:  would she send a postcard to someone everyday from her new places?  Is this something she might do?

She's decisive on orders, she knows what she watns.

Looking through the mags, likes what I'd call a Berlin aesthetic (from my own memory of it), which is bold colours on blank canvasses.  LIked reading little bits of information on strangers.

Question:  Does she really get to know anyone?  And if so, who does she choose to know?

Seems quite immediate in her ways, she's here and now.

Sydney references in the mags take on a different light considering the previous discussions Holly and I had about Saskia being in Sydney.

Image from the cafe:  a young exchange student with an old, red-coated granny. Different generations and different worlds.  This sparked the thought that Saskia and her grans relationship is the strongest family relationship she has.  Granny is all accepting and gutsy.  Born in Germany, came to the Barossa as a young woman all on her own.  The story of a older woman I met coming to Oz by herself from Italy is being woven into this piece of Saskia's life.  The wish to be free has been passed on from grandma to granddaughter, but perhaps missed the mum,.

Starting to get the feeling that Saskia isn't sentimental, that she doesn't dwell.

Question: What does she carry of other people.

Holly asked if Saskia might have a item of meaning in her life?  I had thought about that the other day, and think that she would have a ring.  Nothing flashy, but meaningful, and she could loose everything else, but if she lost this ring, she's be pissed off.

Holly asked about what has she got in the way of possestionns?  The family home was packed up and put into storage.  Mum has a lot of that stuff with her in country Vic where she lives close to the brother, Jordon, but Saskia has access to what is left her in Adelaide.  There is a shipping container that sits on the yard of an old friend of familys business property near the port.  She was able to rummage through when she got back. She bought a bed.

Seeing a young family together at Borders and thinking, 'We never had that, but it might be nice to have one', as in, her being a parent not going back and having another, better child-hood.

Clothes Shopping, David Jones ladies department:

Assistants didn't ask me if I wanted anything at any time, even though I was carrying a pile of clothes.

Saskia didn't feel bad asking the sales lady at the cosmetics counter for information on the products, and then when asked is she'd like to book an appointment replied, 'No I don't.  I really have no idea what I'll feel like doing in an hour.  Want to keep it free'.  And the sales lady had no problem with that either... Absolutely fine, she said.  Just come back if you want some more info'.  She responded openly when spoken to openly.

The dress assistant:  She knocked and changed room and called out if I was fine for sizes. I came out of the dressing room, she asked if I found anything, replied, 'I just don't feel summer today. Its not warm enough, and its not summer enough and I'm just not inspired to buy,  Can't do it today.'  Pretty damn honest about how she's feeling, she responds to questions just how it is.  Me, emm, feels guilty and apologetic in those situations.  Hence why I rarely go into those places.

There's no hesitation with price.  Saskia feels she can try on what she likes.

Text from Sally: Hey Sas.  Can't wk out wot to wear 2nite (its date night).  Any ideas?  Think seduction xxx.  Reply:  Dress, deep V, maybe those beads I brought back?  Hot. x

Reasonable price for a dress $150-$300, plain tops, $70

If Holly hadn't gotten me out of character, she would of kept going for quite a while.  She would of got out of David Jones due to the lack of choice and go looking for some greener, less conservative pastures.

in Gymnasium, a styled 2nd hand shop, Rundle Street:

A tag fell off an item.  She picks it up, attaches it back to the garment, puts it back and DOESN'T look to see if people are watching her.  She is unself-conscious about such an action, I would look around being sorry through my physicality somehow- but she isn't sorry.  Direct movements coming from direct intentions.

People, shop assistants, leave her alone.

In NAKED (another clothing store, new clothes), a shop girl asked How did it go? when walked out of dressing room with a pile of clothes. Reply: 'I can't buy today.  I've tired, but I'm not hot, I'm not cold, the sky isn't blue and its actually not making me want to have anything,' And the shop assistant said, "I know how you feel"- like the dialogue had with the waitress in The Lipton at the Port re The Idea of North & what a great title it was for a band.  She incites conversation meaningfully, honestly.

Saskia is like a walking SMS:  succinct, clear, now, not wasted- potential overall aesthetic thoughts with this character trait.  

After thoughts:

Holly and I can see how she fits aesthetically into the world.  Public interactions getting clearer. She's not a chatter, no chit-chat, and every response is honest, not mediated. She's an outsider who owns it.

Music Shop:

Beck & Cat power-free (these were the 2 disks selected at the end of the session).

Music is something we should more.  One of the hardest elements to access without getting myself so involved.

We relate to music emotionally, so music brings up some great challenges.  What is her emotional life?  What is her emotional response to music and memory.

She's someone who is here & now, not nostalgic about the past and looks forward.  Its all kinda new.

Saskia asks: 'What is some good english speaking music?'.  They replied, 'What do you like?' Reply: 'Songs that tell a story'.

The shop folk were very helpful, couldn't have cared a less that Saskia had been overseas for 6 years.

Question:  Her Sexuality.  Not in a gay or straight way, but does she care about sex, & how much does she care about it?

Holly's response:  Best way to do this is to go our in character.  Not just to see how she responds to others, or how people respond to her, but how she sees people being intimate.  What the question?

Response: Listening to music with a different, aware ear... that is the ear of a character with a different set personality factors... songs are so much about love.

Overall impression of Big Star:  The people were funny, cool.  She'd go back there.  It had 'the boots factor' I was talking about re. The Lipton.

General after thoughts:

Saskia around 26 years old.

She doesn't take long to not like something.  Appreciate it, but not like it.  Decisive.  

The response to image of family and music was interesting because it is about her emotional life, tapping in to those deeper character levels.

August 28

day 3

Any lines within ' and ' are thoughts has in character.

Space B, 

the lounge room:

1st Impro, no one home-

Physically, relaxed, floppy, definite interest in music (Rip it Up), happy to try Sally's face products left on the floor, didn't notice the up-turned cup... well, did notice but didn't care, loose legs, happy to take the space.

Wasn't lonely...does that say something about the space or the triggers within space.

Rip it up Mag related: the action of looking for something to do, using it as a tool to engage, possibly connect through music to engage in cultures that she has a connection to.

She is not defined by a career.  When you aren't, it really changes your whole perception of time, immediate and future.

There's no one she answers to.  

2nd Impo:

Sally and the boyfriend are now next door.

Not too fussed.  Sat up straighter, tidied a bit, picked up 2 out of the 3 dirty mugs to take to the kitchen.  Not all three... a bit of a half arsed cleaner it may seem.  Got up and left after a small time, if there was a t.v on in the room though, may of switched that on.  

Public Space

Lipton Cafe

Loose and swingy physically, confident, very comfortable with physicality, has a swagger, moves like a lady, likes touching her hairs, is happy to be totally present in the cafe.

Sits down, pulls up the chair and puts a leg on it.

She's happy to look, engage with people.

She's dominant

Interesting and interested

The Idea of the North... a band she sees a poster for and begins to chat to the barrister about.  They have a half-meaningful conversation about it.  Maybe will get a copy of the poster.

She ordered a macciato, had sugar.  Consciously not using aussie slang in speech when asking for things.

She could of stayed in the cafe for an hour.  Would of ordered some fruit toast or a pastry, a hot chocolate or another coffee.

She would come back to the cafe.  She's comfortable here, bar chairs cool. Maybe has a smokey-New Orleans /Spanish bar aesthetic- there's a bit of boots n wooden floors and scotch in her, grounding in music.

came to a point where, after being confident in the eyes of the group of 3 to her right, there was a moment of feeling foreign.  There's a group, they're friends, I'm alone, I'm out, I'm noticed.  Saskia was noticed.

The question again:  What now?  Where to now?...not in a physical sense but the 'high' of engaging about a subject with the barrister, of feeling like you and them are the same, just fell away.

So what do you do?  reach for a mag.

The mag was called 'Australian destinations' of which Adelaide looked the most boring.  So plastic.  The pictures and people.  Esp. considering the environment in at the time.. the lipton and the port...vibrant and alive and a little sad sometimes.

Something different about being in Spain and being noticed as opposed to being in the Lipton and being noticed.  In one place I would be noticed anyway, but in the other, Saskia wouldn't be necessarily.  But she was, she did stand out.  Is the overseas Saskia too 'something' for Australia... too big.  I got that feeling from the group thatmaybe she was.

What does it mean to be confident in Australia?

Saw a picture of the Eyre Peninsula in the mag.  A long stretch of beach with sand and stones.  That's where she wants to go next.

SOMEwhere, in the debrief, came the fear of building a boring character and therefore a boring story.  Holly says good to bring it up, and then let it go.  Everyone she has worked with says that at some point.

Salvo's

Didn't find the sunglasses I wanted to find for Saskia.  She sticks around through, she has no time constraints- she'll stay, look again and again

Text from Sally asking her to stay out on friday night cos Sally is making a hot date with her boyfriend.  First thought, ' Oh god, where do I have to go?' A reminder that there are few people she knows here.  But then, it was more about a mate having a great night with their guy.  Saskia responds with: 'Oh god, are you going to have lots of loud sex?  I can find somewhere no problem'.

There's a confidence in her texting language, she's a familiar texter maye.

She's direct.  'There's no point in not being direct because I don't have anyone to be subtle for.'

She's not a big op-shopper, an occasional.  Maybe a more antiquy, boutiquey style of 2nd hand suits better.

Influences:  Saskia has travelled through Spain, Italy, germany... all countries full of strong ladies.  That can also be very intuitive.

in the kitchen impo

alone in the house, around 10am.

Song in mind is i kissed a girl...fun, kinda trashy, not very 'cultural'.

Wondered is she should just go back to bed. Why not?  But coffee won.

She ahs a need to make some noise... if there was a radio around she might have switched it on, then off, then on.  Loud yawns.

Perching on the bench (she perches, not sits) with the question 'Where to next? I could go and chase that picture (from The Lipton).

A text from friend in Spain.  Its a happy text, it's lovely to be missed, she's not missed in Oz. She is a careless place... in more than one sense.

Made her wonder what 'here', what 'home' is meant to be.  That world of Spain very familiar, unlike Oz.

In her mind, where she is is where she is, for good or bad. But in a way, she is exploring here as well, and that exploration and finding is still pleasant.

Came home, had done exploring Spain, needed roots, life, a future.

phone-calls to hairdresser and The Gov

Emma says Umm hi, Saskia wouldn't.

Saskia's Phone call voice very different to one on one voice.  More timid.  Me, as Emma, found the phone impro strange.  You really go back into yourself.

August 28

day 3

Any lines within ' and ' are thoughts has in character.

Space B, 

the lounge room:

1st Impro, no one home-

Physically, relaxed, floppy, definite interest in music (Rip it Up), happy to try Sally's face products left on the floor, didn't notice the up-turned cup... well, did notice but didn't care, loose legs, happy to take the space.

Wasn't lonely...does that say something about the space or the triggers within space.

Rip it up Mag related: the action of looking for something to do, using it as a tool to engage, possibly connect through music to engage in cultures that she has a connection to.

She is not defined by a career.  When you aren't, it really changes your whole perception of time, immediate and future.

There's no one she answers to.  

2nd Impo:

Sally and the boyfriend are now next door.

Not too fussed.  Sat up straighter, tidied a bit, picked up 2 out of the 3 dirty mugs to take to the kitchen.  Not all three... a bit of a half arsed cleaner it may seem.  Got up and left after a small time, if there was a t.v on in the room though, may of switched that on.  

Public Space

Lipton Cafe

Loose and swingy physically, confident, very comfortable with physicality, has a swagger, moves like a lady, likes touching her hairs, is happy to be totally present in the cafe.

Sits down, pulls up the chair and puts a leg on it.

She's happy to look, engage with people.

She's dominant

Interesting and interested

The Idea of the North... a band she sees a poster for and begins to chat to the barrister about.  They have a half-meaningful conversation about it.  Maybe will get a copy of the poster.

She ordered a macciato, had sugar.  Consciously not using aussie slang in speech when asking for things.

She could of stayed in the cafe for an hour.  Would of ordered some fruit toast or a pastry, a hot chocolate or another coffee.

She would come back to the cafe.  She's comfortable here, bar chairs cool. Maybe has a smokey-New Orleans /Spanish bar aesthetic- there's a bit of boots n wooden floors and scotch in her, grounding in music.

came to a point where, after being confident in the eyes of the group of 3 to her right, there was a moment of feeling foreign.  There's a group, they're friends, I'm alone, I'm out, I'm noticed.  Saskia was noticed.

The question again:  What now?  Where to now?...not in a physical sense but the 'high' of engaging about a subject with the barrister, of feeling like you and them are the same, just fell away.

So what do you do?  reach for a mag.

The mag was called 'Australian destinations' of which Adelaide looked the most boring.  So plastic.  The pictures and people.  Esp. considering the environment in at the time.. the lipton and the port...vibrant and alive and a little sad sometimes.

Something different about being in Spain and being noticed as opposed to being in the Lipton and being noticed.  In one place I would be noticed anyway, but in the other, Saskia wouldn't be necessarily.  But she was, she did stand out.  Is the overseas Saskia too 'something' for Australia... too big.  I got that feeling from the group thatmaybe she was.

What does it mean to be confident in Australia?

Saw a picture of the Eyre Peninsula in the mag.  A long stretch of beach with sand and stones.  That's where she wants to go next.

SOMEwhere, in the debrief, came the fear of building a boring character and therefore a boring story.  Holly says good to bring it up, and then let it go.  Everyone she has worked with says that at some point.

Salvo's

Didn't find the sunglasses I wanted to find for Saskia.  She sticks around through, she has no time constraints- she'll stay, look again and again

Text from Sally asking her to stay out on friday night cos Sally is making a hot date with her boyfriend.  First thought, ' Oh god, where do I have to go?' A reminder that there are few people she knows here.  But then, it was more about a mate having a great night with their guy.  Saskia responds with: 'Oh god, are you going to have lots of loud sex?  I can find somewhere no problem'.

There's a confidence in her texting language, she's a familiar texter maye.

She's direct.  'There's no point in not being direct because I don't have anyone to be subtle for.'

She's not a big op-shopper, an occasional.  Maybe a more antiquy, boutiquey style of 2nd hand suits better.

Influences:  Saskia has travelled through Spain, Italy, germany... all countries full of strong ladies.  That can also be very intuitive.

in the kitchen impo

alone in the house, around 10am.

Song in mind is i kissed a girl...fun, kinda trashy, not very 'cultural'.

Wondered is she should just go back to bed. Why not?  But coffee won.

She ahs a need to make some noise... if there was a radio around she might have switched it on, then off, then on.  Loud yawns.

Perching on the bench (she perches, not sits) with the question 'Where to next? I could go and chase that picture (from The Lipton).

A text from friend in Spain.  Its a happy text, it's lovely to be missed, she's not missed in Oz. She is a careless place... in more than one sense.

Made her wonder what 'here', what 'home' is meant to be.  That world of Spain very familiar, unlike Oz.

In her mind, where she is is where she is, for good or bad. But in a way, she is exploring here as well, and that exploration and finding is still pleasant.

Came home, had done exploring Spain, needed roots, life, a future.

phone-calls to hairdresser and The Gov

Emma says Umm hi, Saskia wouldn't.

Saskia's Phone call voice very different to one on one voice.  More timid.  Me, as Emma, found the phone impro strange.  You really go back into yourself.

August 22

day 2:

We have set up a kitchen space and general hostel-type foyer space come lounge room come public setting for private space improvisations.  

After 1st kitchen impro, just being alone in the kitchen of a shared house with Sally.

sense of setting up, or putting my mark on the room, getting glasses out of a box that someone has bought as a gift.

Niceness of knowing there was no-one around, enjoying that

Very aware of that 'quiet house' soundscape....leaves blowing, daylight, faint wisp of people, tapping on the window.  It's pleasant, its potentially sad in a way.

There was a computer set up on the bench:  checking it to see if anyone has made contact, if anyone is on-line, looking at the time in Spain.

There came a feeling of why bother checking the time?  i'm here now, i need to be here.

Decision to sit on kitchen bench not chair

Looking around making comparisons between this place and an apartment in Spain.  Not judging, comparing

Playing with the lemon in the cup, tapping the window, tapping the chair, trying some words out in another language.  Fiddley.

Question:  What does she drink?  What does she read?  At the moment she is over being sitting and quiet what does she turn to to do?

She eats slowly and bitsy. She's not that focussed on food, or more, she gets distracted by other things.  Cultures have informed her eating likes.  At a dinner table, she would engage more in conversation than in food.

There would be situations where that might change... if the food really hit the spot, maybe for taste, maybe for need, maybe from some late night boozy session.

She'd not a big drinker, likes beer.

Wears flat boots

Espresso coffee on the stove

Whole bits in tea (lemon, ginger etc)

She's not fussy about what type of food she eats, Particular, but not fussy, about things in general.  She knows what she likes.

Sally has been in this place for a while.

memories of friendship, being alone in this house. Friendships that aren't here.  'I've made this decision, I am here, this is home, what do I want now?  How Do I find the reason for being here...'

She's made a choice, she's trying to find a way to stick to it. No thoughts in that impro of 'going back', but there was sadness at the feelings that weren't here, of not finding them again... doubting.

At least there was comfort in not feeling the need to be identifies with a career.  Has interests but no need to be something.

She doesn't search for culture through books, its just there in her consciousness.

Begin... Now August 18

saskia's relationship to modes of communication:

phONE:

Mum... and interstate number and her mobile

Brother... Oz, country SA or VIC

2 friends in Spain... Paulo and Elena

Sally... girlfriend known since primary school

ESL Office

Granny's place

When is she likely to get phone calls, how often does she call them and when, how much does she text v's chat, and what plan does she have.  

What is the international chat like compared to the aussie chat... the communication factor between her and everyone.

What is her response to a private number?

eMAiL

Yes, emial, yes SKYPE, yes phone-cards...

the world of emails... begin to notice the rich world it is on its own.  How does she sign off, how does she write- with capitals or little letters, how does she sign off / respond to others signing off.

What is the tone of my emails?  How do i write, what do i write, why, how has it changed.

Emm:  this noticing of the email is something I have done in the back of my mind, developing a subconscious relationship to it.  Its cool to have a framework to begin becoming aware of it.

how to begin finding / experiencing the world of the character?...

From Holly: by osmosis in the experience of others peoples lives, in becoming more a part of a common experience as opposed to an uncommon:  Try shopping in SUPRE and Myers and David Jones, Sportsgirl.  Get a tarot card reading from that woman in the mall.  Go and try on clothes you'll never be able to buy but with the attitude that you can.  Have your hair done in a place you wouldn't think of.  Read mags that you never normally would.  Be a tourist in your own town.  Experience as much as you can in public, and let it feed the private.

recording the beginning...

This BLOG is to be a record of the creative development process for a new work, ReaL TimE, which is being supported by Vitalstatistix Theatre Company and their new, special INCUBATOR programme.  The concept has been cooked up by Emm Beech, with a big influence being from her time creating experiential work in Denmark.  The project is in collaboration with a super team including Sarah John (currently in Spain), Holly Owen (collaborating with me right now at Vitals), Simone Mazengarb (film artist), Daisy Brown (for a little bit of advice) and hopefully mr. Craig Behenna in the future.  

This BLOG is for anyone who is interested in the development process - a process which is being created on a working day to working day basis - and for Sarah John, collaborator and director who is currently in Spain working with us on this project from there.  'There' being Barcelona.  Sarah will has been giving tasks, guiding a path, giving some Spanish flavour and perspective.

the CONCEPT:

ReaL TimE (working title) is a cross-media experiential performance that explores the concept of hom, belonging, the desire for it and the road taken by one individual to obtain a sense of it.

ReaL TimE will meld story telling with detailed, tangibleand poinant information objects- digital media, image and space.  The project's creative form will be in the interactive experience in which the audience is given the narrative parts and then left to come to its own conclusions on the 'whole'.  Thus the story of Saskia becomes each your own making.

A two week development is now happening over the next 6 weeks, broken up with me (emm) in Sydney for 2 days working with Julie Vulcan, a performance artist and an Unreasonable Adult  (http://unreasonableadults.va.com.au).